IT Terminolgy for “we dont to do anything – ever”

Ive had dealing s with a customer lately who has come out with the following gems:

Comment :             “We’re a very risk adverse organisation” 

Real meaning:       “We’re scared of everything and live in conatsnt fear of anything and everything – so dont do anything, ever! I still get paid right.. ?”


Comment:              “there are 1000 ways of doing this – the way Hayes is suggesting is just one of many”

Real meaning:       “we dont want to do anything because we have no technical knowledge and were scared of everything! I work in government, so im still getting paid, no matter how ineffective i am or stupid my decisions are”


I have no issue with being risk adverse…. but if your network does not meet the business needs of the users on the network – whats the fucking point of the network? There is always a balance between security and functionality – but quite frankly if you want your network to be completely secure, go unplug the network cables from the servers…. there we go – secure! If you think complexity equals security, your a fucking moron.

As far as the “1000 different ways to do things” – bullshit! Absolute fucking bullshit! If you want to setup your Microsoft infrastructure in a way that is supportable, flexible and efficient you have, in most cases, 2 or 3 different ways you can go…. for some products a few more… but far less than 1000!  Every network we have ever dealt with that runs well has massive amounts in common with other networks that run well – irrelevant of the industry or size of organisation.

Fuck i hate bullshit artists that become IT managers…. (and the guy who sprouted this shit i had previously stood up for when another mate was bagging him for this type of rubbish…. that’ll teach me!)